I Don't Believe You
by i1vet2b
Summary: Alice has been a prisoner of Pitch for years. Tormented daily and plagued by nightmares with the sole purpose of making her forget her fervent belief in the Guardians, she remains a broken shell of what she once was. Can the Guardians revive her belief? [Rated M for one chapter only. The rest is suitable for T] Please review!
1. The Death of a Childhood

**This...is pretty much my first fanfic ever. And it feels odd writing it. I love reading the fanfiction of others, but I've never been able to wrap my head around it myself. As I had the need to write something and really enjoyed The Rise of the Guardians, I thought I'd give it a shot. You can be as harsh as you like, really. Not that I want people to be. I'm just posting it really in case anyone wanted something a bit darker to read. As of yet, there is nothing overly explicit, though the story as a whole has darker tones that will hopefully be resolved as I write. I don't intend for this to be a long story, but we'll see how much inspiration I get.**

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Nightmares. They shouldn't have had such a powerful hold over me. But I'd been suffering in darkness for years. Literally. I'd been counting. Sure, every so often I'd be allowed topside. They were rewards, mostly. And honestly, I think he just didn't want me to die of the deficiencies associated with a lack of sunlight. Yes, I'm seventeen and I know what deficiency means. I'm not a child. Not anymore.

Once upon a time, I believed in the Guardians. With all my heart, I argued furiously with any who would dare deny their existence. It had always felt like a personal insult to my intelligence when others refused to believe. For adults not to believe, well, that seemed natural to me even as a child. The older people got, the harder it was for them to see. At least in my youthful logic, it was why grandma needed those large bifocals and a hearing aid. If you couldn't see the Guardians, why would you hear them either? That level of thinking seems foolish to me now. In fact, a great many things seem foolish to me now.

Of my friends, I was the fearless one. At hardly more than twelve, I was willing to take on the older kids who would bully the others no matter how much bigger they were than me. It hadn't mattered what size they were or how comparably tiny I was. I knew right from wrong and I wasn't going to let them be wrong. I didn't understand bravery. Not until a little later. To be brave, it takes fear, of which I had none.

Pitch changed that.

Even in his weakened state – he refused to admit the Guardians were responsible – he hated to see the fearlessness in me. He'd told me multiple times. He'd sent nightmares at first. Dark, scary thoughts with creatures that go bump in the night. I'd felt anxiety for the first few moments after waking, but soon comforted myself with a hug from my stuffed wolf. He was a loyal companion and would protect me always! At least that was my thought.

They nightmares continued. Plagued me. Still, I refused to bend to them. Perhaps it was stubbornness. Maybe it was something else. I can't know for sure anymore. What I do know was that I frustrated the wrong creature. The Boogeyman doesn't take kindly to being explained away as a bad dream. He didn't take kindly to me at all.

I hadn't really realized it that night, but I'd had a Guardian's assistance. Maybe Sandman hadn't even known it himself, but when I woke from another terrifying dream, I felt tense and at the ready. My stuffed wolf was no longer just a stuffed animal in my arms. He was a snarling sandy golden canine crouched at the ready on my bed. Golden eyes stared back at me through the darkness of my room. The snarls may have been frightening to others, but they made me smile. I placed my hand on his fur, and the sand moved as realistically as if it were real fur. 'What is it?' I'd asked my wolf, smiling at the game I was inventing on the fly.

The waking dream was shattered with a harsh reality as a creature dark as night rushed at my wolf. The sound of his yelps brought out a cry from me as he was kicked from my bed with brutally sharp hooves. I'd scrambled across my bed to look on the other side where he'd fallen, only to see my stuffed wolf on the floor with the stuffing spilling out of his side gruesomely while golden sand piled around him. Tears sprung up and immediately, I tried to explain it away. He must have gotten caught on something while I slept.

My explanations could only go so far when I heard a chilling voice behind me. Even in the dark of my room, his pale skin stood out. It had a blue cast to it, as if deprived of oxygen and light for too long. Those yellow eyes couldn't have seemed farther from the shade of amber my wolf's eyes had been. They were cold, harsh. Beside him, the dark creature snorted and let out a furious whinny that sent me tumbling off my bed in alarm, my limbs tangling in the sheets. I felt my wolf beneath me and felt my belly tremble in response. I was too tough a girl to cry just yet. My wolf could be mended; I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up, so I knew I could sew him up!

As I lifted my head to look back at these creatures of darkness in my room, I found myself fascinated by the horse. A nightmare, I'd heard him coo as if it were a child. Animals had always been my favorite and science as well. Surrounded by books galore, I couldn't comprehend just what I was seeing. To me, animals had never been evil. Not a single one. They were all that was innocent, even when they were hurting others. To them, it was survival. At such a young age, I understood that. Admired it. But this creature, this _nightmare_ was not like any animal I'd ever seen. It harbored the same cruelty in its eyes that I saw in his.

'Alice,' he'd said. His voice had almost been gentle then. As if he hadn't wanted to frighten me too much. 'Do you know who I am?'

Denial had been on the tip of my tongue before I thought on it. I realized I _did_ know who this was. Who else would hide in the shadows and plague children's dreams with nightmares? The irony of what the creature at his side was hadn't been lost on me. 'You're the Boogeyman,' I'd answered, my voice not quite as still as I would have liked.

'Good!' he'd praised. 'That saves me the trouble of introducing myself!' His eyes had glowed brighter, as if truly pleased. I started to stand, tense in my crescent moon pajamas as if I could do anything to this man. 'You've caused me quite a bit of disappointment, Alice. It's something I think we need to address. I've some lessons for you. But not to worry. We'll keep practicing until you've perfected them.'

I hadn't understood what he meant. At the time, it wasn't something meant to be understood, I suppose. Any chance I'd had of breaking away from this beast had been spirited away the moment the dark horse rushed for me. An overwhelming sense of pain had enveloped me until the darkness took over.


	2. How to Break Belief

**Hey, guys~ These chapters are likely going to be pretty short, so I apologize for that if you prefer lengthy ones. Not really sure where I'm going with this stuff, but hopefully you enjoy the ride regardless.**

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The first few days in my black sand prison, devoid of light, I'd spent in utter confusion and the beginnings of fear. I was fed, I had a small bathroom. Other than that, I was left alone. I had been a social child. Being alone had cost a lot. But I hadn't been totally alone. The horses – no, _nightmares_, for they weren't truly the majestic creatures I'd grown up drawing – came in every once in a while. They'd practically melt from the hardened sand walls as if they were able to simply pass through. I would be startled by their appearance at first, but quickly found comfort in the fact that they wouldn't hurt me.

The nightmares seemed to sense my lack of fear. With their duties failed, they had no choice but to leave me on my lonesome some more. It was when I slept that they found the upper hand.

There would always be these voices in my head. Whispering. Taunting. The dreams would start off real enough – Pitch had obviously learned that I wasn't the type to fall for the blatantly scary dreams as I couldn't begin to fathom them as reality – and I'd think myself back home with friends enjoying myself. We'd be playing games, laughing. And suddenly, they'd all leave me alone. I'd call their names. They'd smile with an expression that was too mean-spirited to really be considered a smile and then they'd walk away, ignoring all my attempts to call them back.

_'They don't want you. You're not good enough for them.'_ Pitch's voice would taunt me endlessly. For a while, it was easy enough to ignore. As his planted nightmares became more elaborate, however, I started to believe him.

Months had passed – I'd kept count by marking a line through the hardened sand walls based on my meals – before he started in on my belief of the Guardians. Why he'd waited so long, I can't know for sure. But it was a good tactic, wearing me down first. It worked. Not right away, but eventually.

_'They would certainly be here to save you if they existed, no? The Guardians live for children! You don't really think they'd leave a good girl like you to suffer like this, do you?_' I'd denied it for a while. Fervently, I fought for their honor. For the memory of beings I'd never seen. But I **believed.** With all of my heart, I knew they had to be real. They weren't saving me because they didn't know! That was all.

_'Don't they know when you're sleeping? When you're awake?'_ I'd hated that he made it sound so logical. As if all the dreams, wonder, hope, and memories I had as a child were being made null and void.

When finally I told him they didn't exist, he started in on me more brutally. Perhaps because he sensed I didn't mean it. Because I still believed in them despite their absence. Maybe because he needed at least one child to believe in him and him alone.

Physical pain was a powerful motivator. It helped me forget what I believed after long enough. Names like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny became a distant memory. A laughable attempt at comfort compared to the agony that was Pitch Black.

Either on days he was busy doing other things or just bored from his games with me, I was left to my own devices inside my prison. He'd left books for me after days of 'vast improvement,' he called it. I devoured them all. Every bit of information, I gleaned like a starved animal would gristle on the bone. I was hungry for something other than pain and darkness. Anything else. And the science books, they were like gold to me. Coveted more than my meager meals or the short snatches of sunlight I was allowed.

But today was different. Today, he had time for me.


	3. The Power of Fear

**This is probably one of the darker chapters. Implies rape and other such uncomfortable subjects if you'd rather not read, but doesn't describe anything explicitly, so far tamer than other stories on here.**

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Though I'd been twelve when I was taken, I'd heard whispers in the halls by the older kids. I had ideas of what things like sex were. They were distant thoughts, and I'd read about it some in my science books. I knew enough to have nightmares of rape be the worst. I learned it to be my biggest fear. When Pitch learned it, well, that was just peachy to him! He'd never touched me inappropriately before. Well, not sexually. He had no qualms about digging his nails into tender skin, however. In fact, he seemed to delight in watching me bleed. Mostly, I think, because I cringed. Because anything that caused me pain and agony was like music to him. He was a monster. A real monster.

And therein lay his power.

I believed in him. Wholeheartedly. And he scared me.

I looked at the soft bonds that held my hands above my head. Silk. It nearly made me shiver with anxiety. This was how the dreams started. Tugging my arms only served to tighten the material around my wrists uncomfortably. The gag in my mouth tasted salty as if it had been laying in the black sand not long before he'd forced the silken material into my mouth and tied it around the back of my head. He'd smiled when I whimpered. I hadn't meant for it to come out. I knew how much he enjoyed hearing signs of distress and avoided them at all costs. But I hadn't been able to help myself.

He leaned down to secure my legs, but with tears stinging at my eyes as the fear came at me full force, I braced all my weight onto my bound wrists and kicked out at him. It was a pathetic attempt, really. He hadn't fed me the day before since he thought the sunlight should be nourishment enough and my body felt weak from the lack of energy. Still, I managed to clip his head, earning a nasty snarl from him. It brought to mind my stuffed wolf. I would give anything, I realized, to have the scrap of faux fur with me now.

Before he could threaten me for lashing out, I found the last reserves of my strength and fought wildly. Fear, as I said before, is a powerful motivator. I was terrified. It didn't matter what he had planned today. It was already different. Unknown. Had my mouth been free, I would have begged to be tortured by the nightmares. By his long fingernails. By the dagger he was sometimes fond of. By anything. Anything other than what was to come. It was that it was an unknown that I couldn't stand it.

My outburst was short lived and he waited impatiently until I subsided into muffled sobs. Already choked up as I was, it was pitifully easy for me to feel vulnerable when Pitch's hand reached out to grab my neck and squeeze. With my legs now secured, I really had no hope of fighting back. My vision went dark around the edges for a moment before he let up a little and caressed a thumb across my cheek to swipe away tears.

"No one will ever want you," he said with an almost paternal tone. "You're not worthy of them. What use could people have for a little rat stuck in darkness?"

I didn't know. Didn't care. I wanted out. Away from him. Away from the glittering gold eyes watching me from behind him. The _nightmares_ snorted their approval, tasting my fear. Relishing it.

_Just stop. Stop, please. Leave me alone_, I wanted to cry out. When I was alone, there was no more pain. Not physical, at least. And I'd long since stopped being bothered by not having the company of others.

"But I want you."

I felt bile rise in my throat in immediate rejection. I shook my head, almost angrily, though there was too much terror to be considered in the least bit intimidating. Certainly not to one such as him. But he read the answer in my eyes.

"You wound me! And I thought we were getting on so well! I mean, we both agree that the Guardians are but a fairy tale and you've been behaving so nicely!"

The air whooshed out harshly though my nose in erratic breaths as I tried to stay calm. It wasn't working. I felt a full blown panic attack coming on and could tell just by watching how the _nightmares_ danced and whinnied with approval.

"I could give you the world," he told me softly, as if to smooth over all the times he'd hurt me. "Look, I can be romantic!" He waved his hand at the ceiling. The black sands above shifted, twirling about until a skylight was opened in the dark prison. Immediately, moonlight flooded inside. I couldn't feel the comfort of that light. I was numb to it.

Pitch leaned forward as if to kiss my wet cheeks, but I whipped my head about furiously, energy rekindled just from the small action. No! I was not his toy!

He rocked back on his heels, pinned me with a hard stare. I swallowed thickly, imagining I'd just sealed my fate when he surprised me. "I see you need some time to think on this. I can grant that," he said, as if attempting to truly be agreeable. "Very well, little Alice. You have the night to think it over. I expect your real answer in the morning."

And he left me.

Trussed up as I was, my shoulders slumped with relief while the _nightmares_ paced just outside the light of the moonbeams. I nearly wept with relief that I had a short reprieve from their onslaught. So blinded was I by even the soft light of the moon that I missed the fact that the light shone down through the hole in my black sand prison like a beacon.

Hope, dreams, and wonder had long since been wiped out by Pitch. Any memories I had left of good days were fleeting at best. Fun? Well, I hadn't had fun in years. I wouldn't know it if it hit me in the head.


	4. Voices in My Head

**Not much to say. o3o Hope you enjoy~**

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I couldn't have known that my rescue was already in progress. I had no way of knowing that the Man in the Moon had sent word of a poor child held captive by Pitch Black. How could I have even begun to imagine that the Guardians would be coming for me? In my world, so enveloped in darkness as it was, Guardians didn't exist.

I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep with my chin tucked against my chest until a frosted wind whipped down into the little prison and sent a shiver across my skin. The black short-sleeve shirt I wore only provided so much protection, but I hadn't needed any cover from the wind down here. It was really the sudden neighing that had me jolting awake. There was a tiny tugging at the gag in my mouth and I jerked away on instinct.

Someone was here. Convinced it was another trick by Pitch, I struggled vainly to escape. All I managed to do was tighten the silken restraints around my wrists which already felt like they would remove my hands soon enough as it was. When one of the closest _nightmares_ exploded into a pile of black sand, I flinched back so hard I banged my head hard enough against the walls to momentarily see stars. And…fairies? Certainly not.

The sound of metal slicing through air had me cringing with closed eyes, but surprise had my eyes flashing open when I felt the restraints holding me go completely lax. The sudden lack of support would have sent me to my knees – or more likely my face – had not an invisible set of arms caught me. That they felt strong and…furry threw me off guard enough not to struggle.

Explosive noises burned at my ears while flashes of light too bright burned my abused retinas. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to protect them from the pain of the light. It was then that I heard the voices. As if I didn't have enough problems!

I felt the vibrations of a chest as a thick Australian accent shouted over my head in warning to comrades. "North! Got one coming up on ya, mate!" A loud guffaw followed that rang in my ears and a keening neigh was silenced.

"Alright, Cottontail, get her out of here!" came another voice. It sounded younger, filled with a laughter-like tone. I didn't even have time to brace before I felt myself being lifted up with enough speed to make me cling to whatever was available. As my eyes were still shut, I could only tell I had hold of some type of leather harness. It was on the landing that I opened my eyes.

I wasn't sure which was more shocking: that I was finally free of the prison that had been my home for years or that I was in the arms of a 6'1 rabbit. As far as nightmares went…this one was at least creative. I had to give Pitch props for that.

"Hurry!" called a brilliantly colored feathered woman as she flitted our way before ushering us towards a sleigh. Sleigh? A high-pitched squeaking in my ear had me turning to stare at some variant of hummingbird, though its face was rather human-like in appearance. Three remaining beings rushed towards the same sleigh: a tiny golden man, an enormous jolly Russian with two intimidating swords, and a white-haired boy carrying a staff and blasting blue light down into the hole.

There was a snap of reins from the big guy who looked remarkably like Santa Claus and the sleigh shot off like a rocket with roaring stags leading the way. The bunny had unwrapped his supportive arms from around me at the takeoff, nails digging into the nearby arm rest, leaving me to cling fearfully to the leather harness – it was indeed a harness – strapped across his chest.

I'm not certain if it was the takeoff, my exhaustion, relief to be free, or the suspicious golden ball of sand that came at my face, but my grip slackened and head slumped before North could throw his globe to make a portal to the Pole.


	5. Seeing is Not Believing

The whispers were slightly concerning. I couldn't hear any words in specific, so there was still time for me to explain them away as nothing more than a nuisance and snuggle deeper into the mountain of blankets on top of me. It occurred to me that this was another trick. However, I was thankful enough for it and wouldn't argue.

A cold hand against my forehead had my eyes reeling open like a frightened animal and I shot from beneath the covers of the massive bed. My only intention had been to get away from that hand, but I found myself surrounded. There were massive furred beasts peering at me with curiosity and small creatures that could hardly reach my knees dressed in pointed hats and bell-tipped shoes. And then there were _them._ Upon seeing the Guardians – who weren't exactly as I'd imagined them, but recognizable enough – I felt my throat clench.

I looked up to the ceiling, my eyes fighting back tears. "You're going to use childhood memories against me now, Pitch?" I shouted, my voice not as unwavering as I would have liked. My hands were curled into fists that trembled when I heard no dark laughter in response. Was his intention to make me feel comfortable once more before he stripped the kindness away? It was unbelievably cruel, but how could I expect anything less from him?

"Hey, it's okay," assured the white-haired boy from before. His blue eyes were a relief from the golden ones I was so used to seeing. A reassuring smile graced his face and I nearly scowled. Oh, Pitch was good. A stray thought, courtesy of my stubborn streak, came to mind. How mad could I make Pitch by telling him I would rather bask in the presence of a figment of my imagination for an eternity than spend another second with him?

"You're scaring the little sheila," said the rabbit, furred arms crossed over his chest while he looked at the others sternly.

While the big furry beasts shuffled away, I nearly growled. "I'm not afraid." Pitch had never used these tactics before. He would never outright tell me I was afraid. I would know. This nightmare – what else could it be? – was giving me a headache.

The little gold man hopped up and down for a moment to get everyone's attention before golden images flashed above his head at a rapid pace. Santa – I took to thinking of the large Russian as that – had a perplexed look on his face before shrugging after exchanging a look with the rabbit, feathered woman, and white-haired boy. Sandman took a deep breath before sand billowed from his ears as smoke would in cartoons I hadn't seen in too long.

The feathered woman stepped closer to the bed I was still standing on at the ready as if I truly could fight off nightmares. I tensed at her approach, but if she noticed, she gave no sign. "Alice, no one here means you harm. I'm the Tooth Fairy, but you can call me Tooth." As if the woman had reminded the others what it was to have manners, the introductions began. The small hummingbird flew up to my face, making me flinch away. I resisted the urge to smack her away from me, though I couldn't say why. Perhaps it was her smile or just the way her eyes didn't glimmer with malicious intent. "That's Baby Tooth," said the white-haired boy before he put a hand on his chest. "And I'm Jack Frost."

"I'm North. Welcome to the Pole," he invited with a broad grin. North looked right jolly when he wasn't swinging those swords around, I had to admit. I turned expectantly to where the rabbit had stood all surly like, but he was smiling now, too. "Bunnymund. Easter Bunny at your service."

How was Pitch expecting me to react to this? I couldn't even begin to fathom, but I was finding myself terrified of it being stripped away. So rather than embrace the growing warmth in my chest, I shut it down. Shut it out. Shut them out. If I let the slightest bit of warmth back into my heart, Pitch would strip it away and leave me emptier than before. Rather than face that, I lowered myself back down on the bed. My eyes fell down to my lap and I realized for the first time that I was wearing fresh new pajamas with dancing reindeer on them. It brought to mind my family and I felt a deep ache in my chest. Did Mom miss me? Did she remember me? The thought nearly had the tears I'd been holding back come to the surface. When I thought they might fall, I steeled myself. Forced a smile on my face. "It's nice to meet all of you," I said politely. "I'm really tired though."

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm sure you need to catch up on rest! We'll be right outside the door if you need anything, okay?" Tooth said. Already, I adored her. She was the closest thing I had to a mother in years. But she was just a dream. One I would be broken-hearted to wake from. Was this how my mind would protect itself? By giving me this one night of sweet dreams? I couldn't take any more of it it was stripped away, I would break. I nodded my head, not looking up.

I listened as they began to filter out of the room, not expecting the cool hand on my shoulder. Startled, I looked up at Jack. "It'll be okay. I promise." His smiled with such confidence that I couldn't help but smile in return. "'Kay," I responded in turn. My answer seemed to satisfy him enough, for he left the room as the others had with his staff in hand.


	6. A Little Fun

**I'm never really sure what to say, but I always see other authors putting a little note somewhere in each chapter. I just hope you're enjoying this so far and I can keep it interesting for you guys. **

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I hadn't meant to fall asleep again. Really, how much rest could a dreaming person need? My eyes tracked around the room, taking in the knick knacks and toys. The bed had enough padding that when I shifted my weight to put my feet on the floor, it was silent. I padded in bare feet across the cool tiles towards the dresser that held a plethora of toys. Each was beautifully crafted with care and I reached a hand out to brush them. I pulled back before my fingers could touch a single one, feeling like an intruder. This place was too kind.

Pitch's taunts echoed in my ears. _'You're not worthy…'_ I'd been told so many times, I believed that. Of everything I refused to believe, I believed that. I felt like an interloper who would taint such beauty. I didn't belong here. _'Your place is with me. Only me. You can't taint me.'_ True, I couldn't taint him. He was already a lost cause. But I would rather be alone than stay with him.

I stepped away from the dresser, my hands locking together as if to prevent myself from reaching out again. I moved over to the window and was mesmerized by the pristine beauty I saw. In the moonlight, the snow looked like a pale blue ocean. It had been so long that I'd felt something other than sand and stone that I realized I ached to touch it. I looked uneasily over my shoulder. Would the others come back? The fear of it curling in my belly was confusion. I knew I didn't fear them. So why was it the thought of them being close to me was frightening?

And then I realized why.

I'd taint them. Maybe I already had. I wasn't worthy, after all.

My fingers found the lip of the window and I pulled up with my meager strength. I still hadn't eaten in… I paused, realizing I'd lost my count on days. When had I last eaten? How long was I dreaming? Could I dream for days? No, Pitch had said I had until morning to decide. But it felt like far longer. I was ravenous and that headache from before was starting to come back.

I'd already made up my mind, however. I wouldn't impose on the purity here. I'd find my own way.

When the window finally gave and lifted up, the blast of freezing air had goose bumps racing across my skin and I shivered. I hadn't realized how warm the bed had kept me until it had been chased away by the wind. Still, my mind was already made up. I was going out that window. It was only a story up, I saw. With snow below to catch me, surely I wouldn't injure myself too much. I spared a glance at my bare feet. There was nothing for it. I could deal with a little cold, right?

Before I could talk myself out of it, I climbed out of the window and dropped into the snow below. Boy, I was wrong. Immediately, I wanted back into the warm room. The snow against the bare skin of my arms and feet was brutal and already I felt it melting against my back and started to soak my dancing reindeer shirt. I found the strength to stand, albeit unsteadily. My toes felt numb. The sensation sent me racing across the snow as if I could avoid the cold with each lengthening step I took.

When my foot found a patch of ice, I let out a squeal that the wind stole away and fell. As I'd been on a slope and the ice now seemed endless, I slid down fast, accelerating as I went. On my hands and knees, I held stiff as I rocketed down the hill. A flash of white and blue next to me had me startling – I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I looked over to see Jack Frost flying at my side, a hand supporting his head as if he were lounging on the wind.

"Having fun, Alice?" he asked with a grin. "You know you're gonna make yourself sick coming out to play like that." Jack's voice had no real admonishment. In fact, he had a laugh on the verge of every word. He looked forward while I was still staring at him while I slid down this ever increasing incline. I watched as his eyes widened. My gaze turned to see what had caught his attention, only to have his shepherd-like staff hook around my middle and pull me out of the way of a towering spire of snow. He laughed while I tried to settle my belly and keep breathing. "Well, that was maybe a little too fun."

I nodded mutely, trying desperately to stop my momentum when the ice beneath me curved back around. The speed at which I was sliding helped carry me up the hills of ice Jack Frost formed with his staff. I heard more laughter from him as he started to skate in his own bare feet in front of me. I looked in front of him, feeling safe enough that he wouldn't let me get hurt, to notice that we were headed back for the workshop.

Why hadn't I looked back before? It was magnificent! Spiraling towers and beautiful architecture!

I would have gotten to admire the workmanship of the large double doors _real_ close had Bunnymund not opened them and served as a pillow for my collision. The breath whooshed out of him as he fell back, arms instinctually cradling me until his back hit the floor. I felt woozy and practically melted in his arms from the strain of so much activity.

I heard North and Tooth join in with Jack's laughter while Baby Tooth flitted over my head. Bunny gave a groan before gently setting me on the floor and bounding to his feet. "Oh, rack off, Frostbite!" the rabbit demanded irritably. "Trying to freeze her to death?"

I shivered on the floor until Bunny's paws yanked me to my feet so quickly that I felt dizzy.

"Me?" Jack asked incredulously. "I'm the one who brought her back in! You didn't even notice she was gone."

Bunny had no argument with that.

"Friends, friends! She is back inside now, so all is well. Come now, you must be hungry. Elves, they prepare feast for you." North spread his arms to envelope me in a warm hug, though I held stiffly. He pulled back, meaty hands on my shoulders now while he peered down. "You're so chilled! First, new clothes. Then we shall eat." The prospect of eating seemed to suit him nicely.

With a snap of his fingers, one of the large furry beasts stepped forward with a set of dry clothes for me. It was another set of warm pajamas, though these ones had howling wolves with Christmas hats on them. Unable to help myself, I reached out to touch the soft flannel and felt that warmth I'd been avoiding spread. I looked up at the beast – Yeti, I'd heard Bunny refer to them as – and saw him smiling down warmly as if he knew what it meant to me. Uneasy with that thought, I accepted the clothes with a chattering thanks.

Tooth flew towards me, hovering with the same mothering personality she'd shown before. "This way," she chimed, Baby Tooth following as well. I looked back while Tooth started to babble about getting me dry and my teeth brushed to see the Guardians head towards what I could only assume was a dining room. Jack looked back, catching my gaze. He smiled and gave a wave before heading in. I couldn't interpret the expression, really. Rather than dwell on it, I gave my full attention to Tooth who had yet to quiet down. I didn't mind it, honestly. I'd been surrounded by silence for too long so her company was welcome.

However, I still felt wrong here; as if I was messing it up. This place was meant for wonderful things. I wasn't worthy. I would never be worthy.


	7. Filled with Wonder

**I sacrificed the morning I could have used to study for you guys, so I hope it was worth it. :)  
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**Also, should I change the rating of this story to T? What do you guys think?**

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True to her word, Tooth really did brush my teeth. I'm not sure which was more mortifying: that she wanted to do it or that she found one that needed a bit extra love and attention. As I'd still been shivering from the cold, she had urged me to take a hot shower. It did me good, I could admit. My skin was brightly flushed now, blood returning to my extremities. Dressed in my newest set of pajamas that I really never wanted to change out of, I followed Tooth and Baby Tooth to the dining room.

It was more of a banquet hall, if I'm honest. The ceiling looked about four stories high and brilliant chandeliers hung from golden chains decorated with intricate designs. Paintings adorned the walls and ceiling, depicting images of laughing children, childhood games, and wonders I'd never seen. I found myself staring, mouth open a little with wonder myself.

"Come eat, Alice!" boomed out North's voice, a raised hand beckoning me to join them at the table which looked large enough to feed an army. Considering how many elves and Yetis were seated about, it _was_ feeding an army. All kinds of food I hadn't seen in too long were placed along the length of the table in sparkling dishware. Following Tooth, I took the seat beside her with Sandman on my left. Across the table sat Jack and North while Bunny say on Tooth's other side. Everyone already had their plates filled and were chowing down, the Yetis with fervor.

"Do you want me to make your plate for you, Alice?" Tooth asked, her smile kind and open. I saw my mother in her for a moment and had to still the lip that wished to quiver in response. Lowering my head, I nodded numbly. While staring at my lap, I missed the shared looks of worry between the Guardians. Baby Tooth, however, hovered down to rest on my hands where she stared up at me happily. I found myself smiling as well, for she was truly adorable. I raised my hand to bring her close to my face, pressing her feathers against my cheek. She opened her tiny arms and hugged me in return. If anyone noticed the tender exchange, they didn't mention it.

A heaping plate was set in front of me. Ham, cranberry sauce, homemade mac-n-cheese, mashed potatoes, a bread roll, slice of prime rib and more! Jack leaned across the table to hand me a somewhat frosted glass of eggnog. "Thank you," I told them both before picking up my fork and knife. It took a beat for me to remember how to use them. Pitch had never thought it necessary to provide me with utensils to eat. The feeling of helplessness persisted for a moment, but my pride refused to let them catch me floundering. Like riding a bicycle, I remembered the steps I was meant to take and started in on my food.

The first bite was heavenly. The next even better. Each had me coming closer to tears as I remembered dinners with my family at the table. Why was this coming to me now? I pushed them aside as best I could and began to devour the remainder of my meal. When I felt full, I regretted not getting my own food. There was so much leftover and guilt crept up like the darkness I was used to having around. Despite the guilt, my headache had receded and I couldn't remember the last time my belly had been truly satisfied.

As was common with a good meal, I started to feel drowsy while the others chattered about silly things, likely for my benefit. No one mentioned rescuing me from Pitch. If this was my dream, at least they were considerate enough not to mention him. If it was his dream, I felt he likely wanted me to forget it was a dream. North seemed to notice my attention was flagging. He leaned across the table with a stage whisper. "I have a present for you."

Immediately, I became more alert. I felt wary. Presents from Pitch were rarely kindnesses.

"Come, come, don't look so worried!" The Guardians stood, ushering me to my feet as well while the Yetis began clearing the table. "This way," North boomed, his voice large as life.

Tooth held my hand gently, but when I squeezed with rising anxiety, she sent me a reassuring squeeze back and leaned over to kiss my forehead. It felt nothing like when Pitch had done that. I'd been prepared for it to feel like that, but it was nice. A true comfort.

When we entered a huge atrium, toys and noise all around, I stared with wide eyes. The room was easily bigger than the banquet hall and had a few of the Yetis already back at work with making toys while elves raced about in games I didn't comprehend. Jack laughed, hopping up on a banister to watch the excitement below as well while Sandman floated along without complaint and Bunny seemed rather withdrawn. I followed them into a smaller room that seemed to be more personable. There was a train set made of ice set in the center with all kinds of toys in various stages of make littered around the room. Papers, plans they looked like, were strewn along the floor either balled up and messily discarded or set aside like something to come back to later. On a desk sat a prettily wrapped present which North picked up to hand to me.

"For you, my dear," he said, his face a bit flushed from anticipation.

I was nervous and uncertain what to do. What if I opened this box and my dream ended? What if Pitch pulled me back out of this beautiful world and back to him? What if morning came before I was ready?

"Well…open it," Bunny grumbled out, earning a stern look from Sandman.

I couldn't say it aloud, but I thought it to myself. _I'm afraid._

Everyone watched me expectantly, though, so I finally gave in. Reaching out with trembling fingers, I unwrapped a simple white box. I hesitated with opening the lid, but didn't want to disappoint them. Gathering all my courage, I lifted the lid.

And the first of many tears fell.


	8. Rebirth of Memories

**Props to Georgia Claw! Perhaps I'm being a bit too see-through in my writing. Oh, well. This feel good stuff is good for my soul. Hope this chapter gives ya the nice and fuzzy feelings.**

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Golden eyes stared up at me. They weren't the ones I'd come to fear. No, these eyes were the ones I grew up loving and adoring. Maybe someone else wouldn't have recognized it for what it was, but I knew. My wolf. The very same stuffed animal that had kept my nightmares at bay as a child. He still had the somewhat mangled right ear from where I would teethe on him as a toddler, though I could hardly tell there had ever been a gaping wound in his side at all. The stitching was flawless, the fur unmarred by an ugly scar that I probably would have left had I the chance to stitch him up myself.

I dropped down to my knees and cradled the only physical connection I had to my childhood. I didn't have the strength to fight the tears this time. They came unhindered and without shame. My sobs shook my frame until North's hand on my back had me looking up tearfully. He was kneeling down in front of me now, his eyes filled with such kindness that I thought I might melt away beneath his gaze. With haste, I threw my arms around his great belly, my wolf smashed between us.

North hugged me tightly. I hadn't known such comfort in years. I didn't know what to do with it, so I clung to him and cried. Around the room, the others looked on with varying degrees of relief. Had I been able to look his way through my tear-filled eyes, I would have caught Bunnymund wiping away a tear himself.

I felt Tooth drop to our level and add her own arms to the hug. Sandman stepped forward to put an arm on my knee and Jack pressed his cold nose to mine before pulling back with a warm grin. From a place long since hidden, I began to laugh. It was watery but heartfelt and I found myself unable to stop. Like an infection, it spread until it seemed natural to laugh and cry at the same time. The moon shone in through the window as if to wrap us in its light as well. How was I to know the Man in the Moon was more than just a silly saying?

"Think it's time for the lil' ankle biter to get some rest, eh?" Bunny asked, interrupting the moment. I was grateful. I didn't like to cry and I'd been doing it far too much lately. But it felt nice, being able to let it out without hindrance for once. Without needing bravery.

"I am tired," I admitted, squirming a bit in their arms so I could hug my wolf tighter to my chest. It didn't matter that I was seventeen already and the people around I should have been forgotten long before. They had been forgotten. But I realized I'd never stopped believing in them. All the time Pitch spent trying to make me deny it that I'd buried my childhood as far away from him as I could. So far, I guess, that I forgot them myself.

"I'll tuck you in," Tooth said, pulling me into another hug even as the others stepped back to give us room. I merely nodded, clutching my wolf like a talisman that could ward off anything that may frighten me. I didn't feel like a child holding him. I _was_ a child. The child I would have been had Pitch not stolen into my life and spirited me away.

I made no argument, again like a child. I was too tired to beg to stay up later with them and the food in my belly was another aid to making me sleepy. It wasn't until Tooth had led me back to my room and tucked the thick blankets up to my chin that my hand reached out to capture hers and hold tightly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her brows knit with concern.

I felt afraid to ask. But I didn't want to be alone. She seemed to understand and turned to bring a nearby chair closer to the bed. Tooth kept hold of my hand, leaning forward to rest her chin on her outstretched arm while she peered at me. "Would you like a story? Or…are you too old for that?" she wondered aloud.

"No, I… I would like one."

Tooth gave a pretty grin, obviously delighted with my response. She settled down more, getting comfortable on the plush covers. "Well," she began. "There was once a girl who could slay dragons."

Already, my interest piqued. It sounded just like a story my mother had told me as a child. It was nonsense and silly, but had all elements that I'd enjoyed as a child. A heroine unafraid to stand up for what she believed. Animals. Fierce beasts that hurt others and needed dealing with. As Tooth wove the tale more, I sat up straighter. This _was_ the story mom had told me. Rather than question it – this was a dream, after all, was it not? – I lay back on the pillows and listened to her musical voice. With my eyes closed, I found myself remembering what home was like.

In my mind's eye, I saw my room. Animal toys littered the ground where I hadn't picked them up from a day of play while being home sick from school. There were various books open on specially marked reference pages as I had to know if my play was correct. Would a lion be able to take on an elephant? In fact, a pride could! So a pride it was, rather than the single male I would have used otherwise. It had been an African safari kind of day while rain pattered against the window. The scent of chicken noodle soup – Mom's specialty – reached my nose as I sniffed hungrily in the midst of play. Mom had come into my room, a tray held in her expert hands while she balanced the full bowl and a glass of milk at the same time. I had always been amazed that she could do it. I'd tried once when she was not feeling well, but ended up spilling the glass of milk I'd poured her down my shirt. It was the gesture that counted, she'd told me then.

Tooth's voice lulled me to a peaceful trance until sleep slowly claimed me. Initially, I'd fought to stay awake. I didn't want this moment to end. If it did… I didn't want to think on it. When finally I succumbed to exhaustion, I didn't dream.


	9. Living Dreams

**Enjoy! I should be doing some precious studying, but this is more relaxing. Are you guys noticing a pattern here? **

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It was morning that brought with it the nightmares. I knew it was punishment. For too long I'd avoided Pitch's torments and here he was to bring them back to me. I was back in my prison and nearly lost my self-control right there. It had felt so real, my time with the Guardians. Why did I let myself fall for such a trap? I hadn't comprehended the depth of Pitch's cruelty until now when he'd stripped away every glimmer of happiness I'd found.

He walked up to me with a sharp toothed smile, eyes glimmering and hungry. In his hand, he held a torch. My eyes took to the fire more kindly than to his presence. I watched the flickering flames, hoping to lose myself in them so I wouldn't have to truly be here while he did whatever it was he had planned.

"Look at me!" he demanded, sharp nails digging into my cheeks as he forced me to meet his gaze. The fury there made me recoil with fear.

_Come back. Find me again. Please!_ I begged inwardly.

Pitch snarled, as if sensing my thoughts. "You think they can save you? That they care about you?! They care about keeping themselves alive and nothing else! Look at me," he snapped again. I did not. "LOOK AT ME!" he screamed, putting the torch so close to my face that I could feel it singing my hair and even smell the burn. "You prefer the fire then? Then _have _it!" Pitch thrust the torch at my feet, my clothes immediately catching fire. The heat was unbearable and I screamed with terror, fighting to break free of my restraints.

"No, no, no!"

"Wake up, Alice!" Cold hands shook my shoulders roughly and I bolted awake, fearful eyes looking into worried icy blue. "Hey, it's okay," he assured. Jack's smile was far more reassuring than I'd given it credit.

"I'm s-sorry," I stuttered, trembling from the aftershocks of the nightmare. On the contrary, I was far from cold. I felt as if I was still on fire and my skin was flushed.

"No need to apologize," he told me, reaching a hand out to ruffle my hair. "That sounded like a bad one. Want to talk about it?" Immediately, I shook my head in denial. "Yeah, I probably wouldn't either." The pair of us fell quiet, but his presence was welcome. The cool proximity of his skin helped ease the feeling of the lingering fire.

What I couldn't comprehend was how this all worked. Had I fallen asleep again? Was I dead? I could no longer tell what was dream and what was real. It all felt jumbled together and frustrating. But I had to know. Even if it was part of a dream, I wanted to know. "Am I dreaming?"

He cocked his head, white hair falling across his eyes while his brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm as real as you are," he said. "Why would you think that?"

I didn't want to admit it. If this _was_ a dream and Pitch was listening in, it would give him far too much power over me. Not like he didn't have enough as it was.

"Come on, you can tell me," Jack assured, his brows still lowered with growing concern.

Right when I felt my defenses slipping and nearly relented, I heard a commotion just outside my room. There was all manner of excitement that had the both of us staring at the door expectantly. Jack jutted his thumb towards the door, a mischievous look in his eyes. "Wanna go see what that's all about?" I nodded, hesitating for a moment when he offered his hand before taking it. It was cold and welcome, cooling down my feverish temperature.

Without the mound of blankets that my body was well-adjusted to, I found myself feeling far better as Jack led me out of the room. There was a hint of sun peeking through the frosted windows, filling the atrium with a jaded light. My feet slowed as we walked past huge flying toys, causing Jack to look back at me. Seeing what had my attention, he grinned. "We'll come back and play with them later if you want."

I fought back the smile, still uncertain if this was still a dream. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Hope was something I hadn't had in a very long time. But now was not the time for finding it. Something was amiss!

I heard the bellowing voice of an alarmed Yeti while elves were scattering about like mice underfoot. I quickened my stride to get closer to Jack, my grip on his hand tightening. "Don't worry!" he told me, his confident smile doing much to ease my growing anxiety. Spotting Bunnymund, Jack raised his free hand to get the rabbit's attention. "What's going on Cottontail?" he asked, peering around at the chaos.

Bunny turned, those large ears swiveling around first to catch the sound before the rest of him followed. His eyes glazed over me quickly before he gave his attention to Jack. I began to wonder if I'd ever done anything to offend him. "Just a few reindeer havin' a blue. Probably from all the lollies around here. Too much energy," he said. I took it he wasn't a fan of reindeer.

"May I see them?" I asked quietly.

"Them stinkin' Bitzers? Why would ya wanna do that?" Bunny demanded even as Jack replied, "Absolutely!" The pair shared an annoyed look for each other before the rabbit pushed off the wall and uncrossed his arms. "Do what ya like, little Sheila." He found somewhere else to be and I battled down my disappointment. I had a feeling he really didn't like me.

"Come on!" Jack urged. His excitement was infectious and I couldn't hide my smile anymore. I was going to see reindeer! Santa's reindeer!

The stables smelled thickly of animal. Immediately, I decided it was my most favorite place. It wasn't as quiet as I had expected, however. The reindeer weren't the docile creatures I'd been expecting. Instead, they were rutting stags ready to go a row. In fact, it looked like two already had. North stood between the pair while a Yeti fought to restrain one and Tooth, Sandman and a few elves tried to keep the other back. My eyes caught on the blood dripping down a foreleg of one and an abrasion on the muzzle of the other.

"Jack!" North called, spotting the pair of us. "Some help, if you please." The winter sprite dropped my hand to rush to assist. I stood there uncertainly, my bare feet rubbing against the hay on the floor. I didn't mind that it was dirty, but I worried if I should have found something to wear. Instead of standing there uselessly, I stepped forward to offer help. I was drawn right to the worst of the wounded and touched his brilliant hide. There was sweat from his exertion and his nostrils flared in response to the other stag's bellow of challenge.

"It's okay," I told the reindeer, as I'd been told so many times since I had been brought here. My voice was soft and quiet, causing the trumpeting reindeer to quiet to catch my words. North was finally able to get the other male away and with the help of the others, they secured him back in his stall. I leaned down, heedless of how easily the animal could have kicked my head and ended my life. Gingerly, my hand trailed down from his thick deltoid until I reached the gash along his lower front limb. "You were just angry he got you, huh?" I asked, unaware of all the eyes on me.

I looked to my side when an elf tugged on my pajama pants. He pointed to where two more were struggling to bring over a pail of clean water before handing me a cloth. I smiled and gave thanks before dipping the white cloth into the cold snow melt water. Wringing out the rag, I gently washed away the blood, circling closer to the wound in slow motions so as not to startle him. The stag lowered his head to sniff at my hair while I carefully cleaned the wound. I peered around to my side again when another elf came up with a tube labeled as triple antibiotic ointment and a roll of bandaging. Taking both, I quietly set to work while the others watched in silence. I enjoyed the quietness of the work as I could listen to the majestic animal breath and snort. When his leg was thoroughly wrapped, I gave the bandages a small tug to be certain they weren't too tight. I'd read of painful edemas in books caused by wrappings made too tight. While the book had been for small animals, I could only hope it worked the same. Satisfied, I stood to pet the reindeer's muzzle. It was softer than I imagined and I longed to run my cheek against it. But my work wasn't done yet. I had another patient.

With a clean rag, I approached the reindeer that had been returned to his stall. He leaned his head over the top of the door to sniff at my outstretched hand before deciding it wasn't interesting enough to nibble. As gently as I had with the other, I cleaned his wound before dabbing a little bit of the ointment on his abrasion. "You shouldn't fight," I told him. "You're on a team."

The work complete, I looked to the Guardians. Each had an expression of awe save for Sandman. He only smiled as if he knew what it meant to me to help the animals, even in such a small way. "That was amazing!" Tooth cheered, Baby Tooth squealing near my ear in congratulations. "Weren't you afraid?" she asked.

"There are worse things," I murmured, instantly regretting it when they fell quiet.

Sandman was the first to recover and floated over to me. On a small golden sandy cloud, he rose high enough to wrap his small arms around my neck in a hug. I returned it with all my heart. He knew of dreams. He knew mine. Even if I hadn't dreamed while I slept, I was able to live it. That was better.


	10. Where is Hope?

**I appreciate the reviews, guys! They really make my day, no matter if they're big or small.**

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With the coming of full on morning, pancakes were made and passed around like presents at the banquet table. The sugar brought a vast amount of energy to me and I found myself yearning for activities. After, I was given a fresh set of clothes and a chance at a long shower. The long-sleeve white shirt was a bit long, reaching just past my knuckles, but the dark pants fit well. I was also given an olive zipper hoodie should I choose to venture outdoors. It wasn't heavy enough, but it would do for the stables, certainly! I tied the hoodie around my waist and felt almost like a real person again. I had yet to let go of my wolf.

Jack was quick to make good on his promise then and pulled me to the atrium to play games. It took quite a while for him to coax me into playing with things I didn't think I should. Baby Tooth flitted around Jack's ear, squeaking with delight whenever he concocted a game for her to play as well. Tooth watched from the floor above, joined by North and Sandy. I saw no sign of Bunny and tried not to feel disappointed that he didn't want to join in, too.

Laughter burst from me as Jack made something akin to a rollercoaster of ice. Using sleds the yetis had made, we raced around the atrium, each vying for the winning spot. After our fifth race, Sandy joined in as well. He brought to life a plane of sand and pulled a pair of sand-goggles over his eyes before hopping in and giving us his thumbs up. I giggled while Jack put his 'serious' face on and Baby Tooth took a tighter grip on his hood.

"On your marks, get set, go!" Tooth shouted from above, her chiming voice filling the room with its musical quality. I pushed off the ice, determined to win this round. On all three sides, there were all kinds of cheap shots in an effort to get the upper hand, though it was all in fun and games. Sandy ended up winning, but I came in close second! Jack had been thrown off course by a well dropped ball of sand from above. The yetis didn't seem to mind that we'd taken over the workshop and some even tried to step onto the icy path and slide as well.

"Now what?" I asked Jack, eyes brighter than they'd ever been before. He was the King of Fun.

The other Guardians filtered out to tend to other duties while he pursed his lips with consideration. "How good is your throwing arm?" Jack asked, blue eyes dancing with mischief. Without waiting for a reply – which was good, because I honestly had no idea – he tugged on my arm and we headed for outside. He stopped at the door to fetch a thick coat for me and held it out for my arms. I grinned, recalling my parents doing the same. After untying my new hoodie and zipping it up, I let him help me get the coat on. I thanked him even as he fitted a hat snugly over my head to cover my ears. He held out a pair of socks and boots for me that I quickly slipped on. "Perfect! You look ready for some snowballs!"

When he opened the door, wind blasted in my face and stole my breath away. It returned quickly enough as I gave an excited whoop of laughter and charged into the snow. I kicked at the tall white mounds, sending snow back up into the air to fall like mini bombs into the untouched areas. Jack ran along the top of the snow, not falling through the crusted top of the snow like I did with each step. He used his staff to make a line of snowballs before picking one up and throwing it for me. My eyes widened before I ducked, laughter spilling out. "Not fair, I wasn't ready!" I told him, protecting my wolf from the snow.

"You sure? You looked ready to me!"

"Jack!" I laughed, my voice having a small whine to it.

"Alright, alright!" he conceded with a broad grin. "Ready now?!"

Indeed I was and watched as my snowball pelted him in the face unawares. He blinked in shock while I covered my mouth and snickered. "I wasn't ready!" he mimicked before an all-out war began. In the end, we lay in the snow. My face was red with exertion and his seemed otherwise unchanged. While I caught my breath, Jack sat up to sculpt something out of snow. I rolled to my side to watch and grinned when I saw he was making me a snow wolf. He then put his hands around it and closed his eyes in concentration.

It sprang to life, blue ice crystals forming its pelt. The wolf shook out its crystalline fur before raising its head to howl. "It's beautiful!" I told him, amazed at the skill. I reached my hand to pet the now panting creature and laughed when it licked my hand with a cold tongue. I held up my stuffed wolf for Jack's creation to sniff at when there was a loud bellow from inside the workshop and the wolf dissolved away as Jack's concentration broke.

"JACK!"

The pair of us looked up, laughter draining from our eyes. We exchanged a look before rushing inside. Jack went on ahead as I paused to strip away my snow-crusted coat, boots, and socks. Back in bare feet and my olive hoodie, I scrambled to catch up. North's voice had sounded desperate and I didn't like imagining what might have happened. I ran through the main atrium, eyes searching out any sign of the Guardians. I didn't see anyone, but heard voices through an open doorway on the second floor. Scrambling up a set of stairs, even winded as I was, I reached the top and raced through the doorway. I nearly tripped over my own feet when I saw him.

The giant glimmering globe had only flickered in my view for a moment before I saw the danger. Passed the tense line of Guardians stood Pitch. In his hands, he gripped a black sand scythe and beneath his heel was Bunny, the weapon touching his throat.

"So you _do_ have her," Pitch all but cooed. I shivered in response to the sound of his voice even as North threw a hand out to block me from his view.

"You can't have her," North snarled.

"Bunny," I whispered, my eyes for him now that North had effectively blocked my view from Pitch. I clung tightly to my wolf.

Those large ears caught my voice and he gave a smile. "Sorry, little Sheila. We shouldn't have failed you the first time. We won't this time." His eyes held such kindness that I wondered where it had been hiding all this time. Had it been himself he was so angry with before?

"You have a choice, Guardians! It's your Guardian of Hope! Or her!" Pitch snarled.

Jack took an angry step forward, his staff held at the ready. "You've made deals before and I recall you not following through regardless."

"I guess that just means you'll have to trust me," Pitch said with a smile.

Bunny for me? No, I couldn't accept that! He was important to the whole world! I wasn't really important to anyone anymore. With Pitch around to remind me, I remembered why I'd avoided getting close in the first place. I wasn't worthy. I certainly wasn't worthy of this sacrifice.

"Wait!" I cried, squeezing between North and Sandy to stand unsteadily in front of them. "If I go with you, you'll let him go?"

His smile curled up and curdled the contents of my belly with terror. I wanted to shrink away and hide from him, but Bunny needed help.

"No! Yer just a little ankle biter. It's alright. We can –"

"Shut up!" Pitch demanded, grinding his heel harder to Bunny's back. I flinched at the strength of his voice. Bunny looked up fearlessly, craning his neck around as best he could. I was afraid for him. I had no doubt in the sharpness of the weapon at his throat.

"Will you let him go?!" I asked with raised voice to hide the quavering. My insides felt like jelly at the thought of being any closer than this, but I knew it was up to me. I could only hide from darkness for so long.

Pitch smiled at me. It wasn't at all like the smiles I'd come across while I was here. By now, I realized that this was not at all a dream. This was real and happening. That I couldn't write it all away as fantasy made my decision that much harder. If I gave myself up to him, there'd be no coming back. He'd find some place where the Guardians could never find me again. I would never know happiness again. I suppose that's why I made up my mind. I would give up everything to preserve the happiness I'd found with them. They worked for all children, not just for me. And everyone needed hope. Bunny was vital to the children of the world. And it was time for me to grow up.

"Yes."

At his answer, I stepped forward while every bit of my being begged me to stay still. Behind me, North, Tooth, and Jack made to argue while Bunny started as well. "It's okay," I assured them. I wished I could tell them I wasn't afraid, but I didn't want to lie and they'd know it. Pitch reached his hand out for me and before I could chicken out, I placed mine in his. He yanked me to his side, the scythe now at my throat as he stepped off Bunnymund.

"Don't get any ideas or she'll be dead and you'll have failed her in every possible way rather than in most," Pitch threatened.

Their faces looked so tortured that I wanted to look away. "I'll be okay," I told them, doing my best to smile, though I felt tears stinging at my eyes again. "I'll be okay." I repeated it for myself, as well as them.

A screaming neigh had me trembling in his grasp and I jolted when the _nightmare_ appeared at my side to snort on my arm. Pitch lifted me around my waist to place me astride the black sand animal before leaping up behind me. "Say goodbye," he whispered in my ear. The first tear fell then, but he gave the horse a powerful kick that sent us hurtling through the window before I had time to say a single word. I looked back under his arm to see my friends with slumped shoulders. They looked utterly defeated. It _would _be okay, though. They would continue protecting the children of the world. I wasn't worthy of their protection.

The wind was brutal and cold. Without my jacket, my teeth were soon chattering as the _nightmare_ galloped across the sky. "You made the right decision," Pitch told me, his hand brushing across my cheek softly. "We're going home."


	11. Bravery

**Hope you guys enjoy! Please review! Makes me happy to see I can entertain you guys even as I fumble my way through this.**

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I clung to my stuffed wolf, my index finger brushing along the carefully concealed stitches in his side as if the feel of them could bring me some amount of peace. It was for the good of all, I told myself. Just not for the good of me. It was the only way I _could _be worthy, I thought. But why did I believe that? Because Pitch told me? When did he ever tell me something that was true?! He'd gone on and on about how the Guardians didn't exist, but look! They did! And they cared about me even when he said they didn't. They found my wolf. They took care of him, knowing how precious he was to me. They took care of me when Pitch had told me how no one ever would want me.

He was a liar. So why was I okay with this?

I wasn't, I realized. And I was through being his toy. My fear of him didn't matter. All that did matter was that I wasn't going to go without a fighting chance.

Pitch was so intent on getting away that he didn't expect my elbow to connect with his face. As he reeled back, the _nightmare_ slowed uncertainly at his shifting weight and I took the chance to throw myself from the creature. With wolf clutched to my chest, I hurtled through the sky towards the snow. When not too long ago, it had been a great source of fun, not it looked hard and unforgiving. From the height I was falling, I didn't imagine it would be a kind landing.

I looked at my stuffed animal, remembering how I'd brought him to life with Sandy's help – though I hadn't realized it at the time. Maybe I could do it again? Imagination was a child's tool, after all.

_Please, wolfy. Please let me do this._ I looked at those marble golden eyes, concentrating with all my heart as I'd seen Jack do before. There was a glimmer there. A spark of life and I felt a spark of hope within my chest. It was like the final piece of a puzzle slipping into place. Not made of sand or ice this time, my wolf was silver furred and amber eyed and large as a _nightmare_. While the cold whipped tears from my eyes, I clung to him until he tossed his head towards me to lever me up onto his back.

He absorbed the landing in the snow with strong legs and stood tall, snarling up at the gathering _nightmares_ in the sky while Pitch gave a growl of his own. I was afraid, yes. But it is in fear that we discover bravery.

"Get her," Pitch demanded, pointing a sharp finger at me, his eyes boiling with rage. The _nightmares_ came like a wave of darkness. Curling my fingers in his fur, I lowered myself across his back and urged him to go. I felt the muscles of his hind limbs bunch up before he burst across the snow with incredible speed. Jaws snapped at sand, littering the white snow with their remains like ashes. A _nightmare_ got passed his onslaught, snapping at me. Rather than curl away from it, I lifted my leg to give it a mighty kick to the face. It exploded into a pile of sand just as its comrades did.

We worked as a team, my wolf and I, though he certainly did the majority of the work with his sharp teeth. There was a lull in attacks and he panted hard, his ribs expanding with each breath beneath my legs. "You okay?" I asked him with concern, uncurling a small hand from his fur to pet between his ears. He gave no answer, but lifted his head proudly to glower at Pitch. Above him, I saw more dark sand gathering as if being pulled from all corners of the world. The fear rose like bile in my throat, but I battled it back.

"You dare defy me?!" Pitch screamed, manifesting his scythe and raising it above his head like a flag. "If you won't bend to me…you can die standing!" A fresh wave of _nightmares_ gathered around him while my wolf was already tired. Still, he was right. I wasn't going to bend to him anymore.

He gave a battle cry while I braced myself for a collision we couldn't face. Neither of us expected a boomerang to strike him right across the face and make him lose hold of his scythe. It plummeted to the ground and stuck straight up in the snow at a crooked angle. Putting a hand to his jaw, he looked north to see Bunny catch his weapon.

"G'day, mate."

There was a powerful roar as reindeer poured over the hillside, pulling the rocket powered sleigh behind them. In front, I saw the two who had fought earlier working together with such ferocity that it brought pride to my heart. Jack leapt from the sleigh, aiming his staff at _nightmares_ and firing off icy blasts while Tooth sliced through them with rapidly beating wings. Sandy conjured up two golden whips and began beating them back into submission while North chopped away with his dual swords.

"No!" Pitch called, his voice full of fury as his creatures were beaten down one after another. My wolf lashed his tail, a snarl rippling from deep in his chest as he pinned amber eyes on Pitch. He gave a mighty leap, aiming to rip the Boogeyman right off his steed.

No one expected Pitch to conjure up another scythe with such speed and ferocity. Though he didn't have time to angle it well enough to cut me, the brunt end of it hit me full in the chest and knocked me off my wolf. Taking my wolf's sudden distraction to heart, Pitch took the time to flee for his life even as I fell.


	12. Wake Me Up

The moon told me nothing. Not a name. Not my purpose. Not why he was pulling at me while I slept. But when finally he was able to urge me to open my eyes, I looked up into the faces of the ones I held closest to my heart. North. Tooth. Sandy. Bunny. Jack. Baby Tooth, too. Their faces had a mixture of shock and awe.

"Did we win?" I asked, looking around to find I was actually in Bunny's arms with the others huddled around.

North looked skyward to where the Man in the Moon was watching despite the sun in the sky. "Manny…" He seemed speechless. I craned my neck around to see the moon as well.

_Feeling my way through the darkness  
Guided by a beating heart  
I can't tell where the journey will end  
But I know where to start_

Tooth looked like she was going to cry and I lifted a hand to beckon her closer into a hug. "I'm okay," I assured her, remembering my fall. Obviously, I was uninjured! Sandy bounced up and down, images of the moon and a figure with a wolf at her side flashing excitedly while I blinked without comprehension. Bunny could only look at me with relief and smile. When I saw Jack, his grin was bigger than I'd ever seen it.

"Alice, how do you feel about being a Guardian?"

_They tell me I'm too young to understand  
They say I'm caught up in a dream  
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes  
Well that's fine by me_

"Me?" I asked, perplexed. "I can't be a Guardian," I chided. "I don't have any super powers like you guys! I'm just…me." Really, what had urged him to say that?

"Alice…you died," Tooth murmured, wiping a tear away with a feathered hand. "When you fell. You…died." She seemed unable to say more while I stared at her with shock. That wasn't a very funny joke.

_So wake me up when it's all over  
When I'm wiser and I'm older  
All this time I was finding myself  
And I didn't know I was lost_

"Stop joking around," I muttered, looking at them all uneasily. Were they serious? No one was smiling at that, or making glances that could lead me to believe she was lying. "I'm…dead?"

"Well, yes and no," Jack answered, willing to be the one to break their silence.

Instead of letting Jack say something without thinking, North interjected. "Manny," he lifted his hand to the moon, "brought you back for reason. He believe you can be Guardian."

"Not such a little ankle biter anymore, Sheila," Bunny said, shifting me until I could stand on my own feet. I blinked, looking down at the snow that didn't feel all that cold anymore. It was cool and pleasant, like bare toes in fresh spring grass.

_I tried carrying the weight of the world  
But I only have two hands  
Hope I get the chance to travel the world  
But I don't have any plans_

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, putting my hands up. "So. I died. And the Man in the Moon brought me back to be…a Guardian?"

"That about sums it up," Jack answered with a shrug and a laugh.

"Jack!" Tooth chided, thinking he was being a bit too tactless about things.

"What?" he asked with a chuckle. "She's a toughie!" he complimented.

I couldn't help but smile at that. When first I came, I hadn't been. I likely would have been afraid of my own shadow if I'd ever thought to look at it.

_Wish that I could stay forever this young  
Not afraid to close my eyes  
Life's a game made for everyone  
And love is the prize_

"So I'm a Guardian? Guardian of what?" I asked, still struggling with the concept.

"What you think?" North asked, his gaze still as paternal and kindly as ever.

"I don't know," I admitted. I looked down at my toes before I realized I was missing something very vital. My eyes popped wide as I looked around the snow. Seeing my stuffed wolf laying in the snow, I started towards it only to see it burst to life and rush up to me. His huge tongue licked across my face before he snuggled close to me. I laughed, hugging his broad neck tightly.

"You know," Bunny began. "It takes quite a lot of courage to hug on a wolf like that. Have you seen that thing's choppers?"

"You know what wolves do to rabbits?" Jack asked with a wry smile. The others laughed as well as if it were an old joke.

_So wake me up when it's all over  
When I'm wiser and I'm older  
All this time I was finding myself  
And I didn't know I was lost_

"So what? I'm a Guardian of Bravery?" I asked incredulously.

They looked at each other with pleased smiles.

"That about sums it up," Jack repeated.

"You faced your fears. For us," Tooth murmured. "That took all the courage in the world."

Sandy bounced up and down again, clapping his golden hands with delight. Their excitement rushed through me with sudden fierceness and I gave a bright laugh. "I'm a Guardian!"

"She's taking this much better than that Dill did," Bunny muttered with amusement, a furry thumb jutted out towards Jack.

I raced across the snow, my legs not getting tired as I moved with a speed I never would have believed I was capable of. My wolf raced along beside me until I circled back towards the group and launched myself at North to give him a hug. He twirled me about before pulling me close. He set me back on my feet looking like a proud father. I hugged Bunny next, then Tooth, and Sandy. Baby Tooth flew forward to get in a snuggle of her own before I could turn to Jack.

We both had wide grins that seemed infectious among the others. He stepped forward to hug me even as I did. It felt like home. Pulling back, I realized I finally belonged somewhere. I leaned forward to rub my nose against his as he had before. My wolf shoved his muzzle between the pair of us, breaking our hug with a grumble while the others shared knowing looks.

"Oh, so you want to get to work already, huh?" I demanded of my wolf, pressing my face into his fur with adoration. His wagging tail was answer enough for me. "Alright!" I said, hopping onto his back. "Then let's go!"

_Didn't know I was lost  
I didn't know I was lost  
I didn't know I was lost  
I didn't know_

* * *

**I'm sad to say that this is the very last chapter! The song used within this chapter is Wake Me Up by Avicii, so look it up if you get the chance! I have to say I really enjoyed this piece. It started out very dark and grim. Honestly, I didn't see the light until it opened up in front of me. There were no plans throughout this entire story. I just wrote and wrote without much thought. I hope you really loved it even if there were quite a few fumbles along the way. If there is enough interest, I may potential write more with our dear Alice, but it really depends on you guys. All I know for sure is that it will be quite a while until I have time to write again - MUST STUDY! - but I look forward to hearing what you guys have to say. **

**EDIT: There is a sequel! You may find it here: s/9649018/1/Believe-In-Me**


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